Sooooo, where do I go from here? I restored some dominance and saw good results. Friendly conversation has been the result.
Do I maintain some distance yet continue the new old best friend stuff?
What you don't need to do is get comfortable in thinking this "dumping" business only takes one time to get the lasting desired results from her.
When you consider how you would conduct yourself with someone you washed your hands of............would you realy show interest in them? Would you really want to be their best friend?
IMHO, pursuing friendship with her at this time........will place you in a vulnerable position. Why? B/c you are showing interest in her! The WW should think she has been dumped by the guy she didn't want. He no longer is interested in her as a woman, a wife, or a friend. She's lost him. He has taken the initiative to drop her, and move forward in a life apart from her.
To understand how this works, takes you understanding the mindset of the WW. She will not want you until she believes she has lost you. She cannot have you b/c you are no longer interested in what she has to offer you. Currently, she is confident that she could turn on her charm, wiggle her a$$, and she'd being leading you around by the nose. Frankly, that's not much challenge for her. The challenge comes when it takes much more than her feminine charms to captivate your interest again. I mean, why would a man want to go through that hell again? When you can see through her temp checks and manipulation.......and you turn her down......then you are making progress. When you can say, "Thanks, but no thanks", she starts to believe she is losing you.
So, what do I recommend next? Pull back, and don't be so available this week. Let her pursue you, but don't forget what you are suppose to be doing.........which is dumping her. When you "dump" a person, you don't gradually ease away from them. You DUMP them out of your life. You immediately and completely disengage with anything that involves them. And, don't use the kids as a bridge to get next to her.
Don't use this as a tactic just to get her to warm up to you......she'll see through it, and it won't serve you well. The goal is to put the burden and action of pursuit on your W. When she sees her little tricks won't work, and she sees you are no longer interested in getting her back......and especially when she sees you living happily without her........there is a much greater chance of her being interested in getting back into your life. And, don't worry.......she'll let you know.
The best way I know how to describe it is to be hard to get. Don't be a pushover. Don't make it too easy for her to pull you back. Do you understand what I mean?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
