Hi G, lots in that post, im not a vet and any advice i give comes from my own experiance.
Your weight , etc mean very little to most ladies. They are much deeper than that but maybe for your own self esteem why not get some exercise ?? It should be good for your body and mind.
Why not join a social group ? I know you love your cars so join a Porsche owners club and make some new friends.
Im very insecure but if you met me i would appear go be the most confident person ever. Im seeing a lady for the last 3 months and she is a stunner, intelligent, beautiful and fit as a flea, 3 times now ive let my insecurities cause issues in the R but luckily she has pulled me back. She has her own insecurities and im not exaggerating when i say shes stunning but to her she has flaws. My point is we view ourselves quite cricatlly and others may not.
Whether you M was good or not , it was what it was and proberbly a bit of both. Hearing what your W says about new Rs and having more kids etc must be heart breaking and would upset anyone.
Again , these are my thoughts only , you need space and you need to move forward with your life. This situation has happened and your W is obviously happy enough with how things are. Thats no good to you and your state of mind. You need space to get a clear head and let W do whatever she wants without it affecting you.
You need to change things , if your ready to date then date, personally i would join a few social clubs and keep yourself busy. If you meet someone then all well and good but its not the goal. Exercise ( for you ) and start to feel some confidence in yourself.
On the school days thing, thats in the past, i would almost guarantee that you are the only one that remembers it and alot of teenager boys have done plenty of stupid things to get girls attention. My own S18 did something similar a few years ago.
This is your life G , its not a dress rehearsal, live it , enjoy it and be the very best you that you can be.
