Pretty much the only time we talk, is when it is about the kids, and during these talks she seems normal. It's like she can't hate me when the kids are involved.
Before BD, we may not have gotten along very well, but when the kids were involved we had fun. It was an uplifting experience for me. an experience that felt right and good.
Yesterday was the first day of school, so in the excitement and discussion about the kids it is like she forgot to hate me. Later I went to talk to her about the end of her car lease and she was back to being short with me and trying to end the convo. It's amazing to observe.
I feel like I've been able to purge my resentment about the cake-eating aspect of all this and get back on track.
I also realized today it had been a long time since she seemed to enjoy anything about me, a looooong time. Once she roped me in and got over the initial infatuation, she had to start on the devaluation. I don't think she really has it in her to be mean, so she just withheld all compliments and praise.
I'm hoping to do something tomorrow night, I just don't know what. My good friends are always unable to do anything. I suppose I'll work on that.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
I'm hoping to do something tomorrow night, I just don't know what. My good friends are always unable to do anything. I suppose I'll work on that.
At this point, my friends are all married, and doing things with their wives. I feel like a third wheel joining them a lot of the time, so I kind of know how you feel.
I've tried to create a new circle of single guy friends to do things with, and it's not that hard. I've found a lot of guys are in the same boat I am, looking for someone to do things with, and will jump at an invitation. Good luck.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
It turns out my friend texted me to go out tonight, but the wife already had plans. I need to find those other guys! I've been trying to connect with a single friend of mine, but he suggests things I'm not comfortable with.
Anyway, I have to be at church by 9:30 for Sunday school kickoff, which would have been rough after a night out. I feel like such crap after drinking, it is hardly worth it. Probably because I never do it.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
The W was pretty talkative and at ease with me today. I don't know if it is the habit of Saturday being family days or what. She even walked around with no bottoms on and showed me how loose her new underwear was. This is notable since for a few days we acted like we would be modest around each other, but it just seemed silly to me. I think she wanted to show off her weight loss.
I now know she is continuing the job search a bit and working on her resume. Her getting a job would be a big help: whether she wants to get D or needs to see that being a single mom every other week isn't what she thought it would be. We'll see.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
1. I think I'm doing a decent job at detachment, but it kind of makes me low emotion. The book says stay upbeat. So I need to be detached and upbeat, correct? Am I missing something?
2. We have a family vacation with three other families in a month. The other adults know what's going on. My W is going. I'm OK with that, or with her not going. I'm thinking it is best for the kids for her to go. Is there any guidance on what the pure DB play would be? It may be too late to make this change, but I'd like to know.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
We got in a small argument over who was doing what, and it helped me to realize that we talk so little that I'm such a rookie when it comes to DB conversation.
I tried to walk away from the convo, but she kept at it, and I defended. I need to just let it go.
I've been leaving invitations open for her for some things and I just need to cut that out. She probably interprets it as pursuing. An added plus is it makes my life less complicated!
Although the "look at my undies" was organic to the convo, (I had bought two pair), it probably had a dash of temp check blended in.
Stay positive around her. I'm happy everywhere else, so shouldn't be too hard.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
I did turn her around and squeeze her butt... I think she will have a hard time believing I'm not interested, because I am always interested. However, it is probably what is needed now.
M: 41 W: 41 Married 2003 2 boys 9 & 6 Bomb Dropped May 2017
1. I think I'm doing a decent job at detachment, but it kind of makes me low emotion. The book says stay upbeat. So I need to be detached and upbeat, correct? Am I missing something?
Kylo, I just try to act the same as I always would without bringing up our R or D. I think TX or maybe AS posted something like this when it comes to detachment.
W mad = Kylo happy W sad = Kylo happy W happy = Kylo happy
So you are always happy and her mood has no impact on you!
