Hi Sotto, glad this anniversary passed without pain or even much notice.
On the dating thing you need to be true to you. If you prefer to be single then so be it however i hope you keep the door open because its not fair on all the decent guys out there that need to have someone as wonderful as you in their lives.
You know what you want and unfortunately a few frogs might have to be met before Prince Charming arrives. Dont let the frogs put you off :)))
Hi Sotto, glad your anniversary didn't bother you too much. Mine is coming up on Monday. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
At the moment I'm also loving being single! I keep listening to friends and family moan about their spouses and I think wow I'm lucky I don't have to do that anymore!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Thanks for your replies guys. I'm generally doing well - up to my usual social things - and off on holiday with a friend later this month.
I had a bit of a dip this week - my own fault really. Every few months or so I get the urge to do a quick Google search for XH and OW just to see if anything pops up. I know, not a great idea. And mostly I'm fine with not knowing what they may be up to - but oh well.
So, a recent article popped up with a photo of OW in her sports team with a mention of XH amongst others - thanking them for their support of the club - ugh. So, clearly they are still going strong, and it was just a bit yucky to read about it and envision him happily helping out at these sports events etc. Self inflicted on my part I know..but it's always a bit hard to have these tiny insights into what they are doing.
Anyway, I need to live and learn from that one - it's not helpful or healthy to look!! Otherwise, as I say - life is generally good, but just wanted to share that one.
Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Sotto , completely understandable why your in a dip and you dont need me to tell you about googling Ex. All i will say is that you saw a snapshot and you have no idea of what the real sitch is. Maybe ex is ruling the world of maybe hes not, what we do know is hes lost Sotto from his life so hes a loser no matter what he thinks. ( or appears to think )
The dip will pass and you will continue to live a positive, gal filled life.
Your the winner from that R , you've grown and flourished and will continue to do both.
Keep on being the fantastic person you are and let 'dips' just be a learning experience.
From my vantage point, seeing a MLCer up close and personal, there is no possible way your exh could have "advanced" to the point where he can have all the pieces of life fitting as well as they seem to be. It's a facade. He has not put the time into doing the work and there's no way around it but to give it time.
An acquaintance of mine divorced her h several years ago. I am pretty sure he is in MLC: liposuction, started partying, began an affair while his wife was going through treatment for cancer and in marriage counseling, he didn't see anything wrong with any of his decisions. Post divorce he dated constantly, always women 15-20 years younger. He checked every "I am going bonkers MLC box."
Within a few years he married one of the women and decided to have a child. He was almost 50; she was early 30's. My son knows his kids from marriage #1 and said the MLC guy is always cranky and irritable. Hmm.
MLC guy and his new wife were glowing all along. Recently, I ran into wife #2 and she is pregnant again. She immediately told me it was an accidental pregnancy. Then she started justifying: "I have reassured h (MLC guy) that we'll go right back to getting sleep again! Everything will be okay in a year!" The children will be 16 1/2 months apart and she kept emphasizing the extra 1/2 month. Like it matters?!?
Relations between them are obviously strained. The glow is gone. Meanwhile he pays a lot of child support/alimony to wife #1. He has four kids and at age 52, two of the children are under the age of two! Wait until he has two toddlers at age 55!
If it seems like we are suffering while they seem great, it is only because we're doing the work up front while they run and hide. There's no silver bullet.
Soldier on knowing you will reap the rewards of your hard work!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
