NO I've never told her that ever. I just feel when she comes to interacting with me I should not push her away show her someone who is confident, happy who is just getting on with life.
Again being friendly and a safe place for her I feel is more conducive to re-establishing the MR R than being distant and almost accepting the A. I feel that her seeing me as a person who will be okay whatever the outcome and acting "as if" I know the MR can R (but never tell her) is more tangible than isolation.
But remember I'm not going to pursue this, I'm continuing to detach and work on myself, getting out and doing things with the kids and friends.
I just won't be "stand-offish" when she comes to talk as long as there is no mention of the A or her AP/LO. She need to respect that what she's done to me has consequences but that doesn't mean we can't interact with strong boundaries...
Until the AP/LO is out of the picture there will be no possibility of R I know this but don't blow the last bridge up from "fantasy island" be the lighthouse...
Mark.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
