Get over your hill and see what you find there

[Treasur]

Why does this still hurt so much after almost 2 years of madness? I think I'm just bone-tired. And I think there must have been a bit of me that I didn't even know about that was still hoping my H would come out of the MLC fog a bit. I just miss him and I hate this.

My logical head says that D is the only way to save myself from his MLC chaos. My heart just wants to see my H smile at me and not have dead eyes. When I pray every night, I recite the Serenity prayer, ask God to help me be wise about the difference between what I can and can't change, and ask him to let me see my H's face looking like H again before I die. Oh dear, self-pity party alert! Sad