You know, this is really hard for me to come to terms with. The woman I fell in love with would never do the things my W is now doing. It's just so hard for me to reconcile this with reality. Even if she is in there, she's outnumbered. I can't help her any more.
Outnumbered, haha! Yes, it really does seem that way. Sometimes they come out of the fog and go "back to normal" and sometimes they never do. The woman I was married to the first 18 or 19 years is not the same as the post-BD woman. It's been 5 years since BD and she still seems like an alien invader to me. I love this woman as the mother of my children (and she is still a fantastic mother) but I am not "in love" with her and in fact feel like I barely know her, whereas I would have told you I knew the pre-BD version of her better than myself. I think in her case she went through some kind of a mid-life change, maybe it was menopause (she did go through it around BD time). In any event I can relate to what you're saying. The old W may be in there, but she's no longer running the show and I don't think she ever will again. It's a shame really, because THAT woman was absolutely amazing.
