How should I handle her interactions with our son? For example, I hear absolutely nothing from her for a few days, then she wants to talk to him on the phone or facetime. They will talk for a few minutes (I have to be there since he's only two and can't operate the phone himself but I don't talk to her) then she drops off the face of the earth. There have been several instances where he has asked to call mama on the phone, but if I call or text her she ignores us, so I just have stopped trying to arrange conversations between them to keep him from getting disappointed (If I say "hey, wanna call mama" he will either get upset and say "no" and storm off, or gets really excited, but if she doesn't answer he's very upset.
If I could I'd just have absolutely no contact with her, but I don't think it's fair to my son. I'm angry with her for doing this to my son (I'm also angry about how she's treated me but I try to keep those emotions separate) and I want to force her to be a better mom. If I say anything to her though she goes on about I shouldn't trash her, that she isn't a bad mom, and that she's working to get her life together (even though I know she isn't based on hints she drops, she spends every free day hanging with friends, boating, etc. which is fine, but she gets so busy with her hobbies she won't make time for her son).
I really don't want to have to send my son to visit her either, I know she's just going to try to pass him off to daycare or someone else, that he won't be taken care of, he will be put on a different routine (when I have him he goes to bed at 8 or 8:30 and wakes up around 7, the two weeks she had him she was putting him to bed at 11 and he was waking up at 9, it took me a week to get him back on his schedule). It just seems like alot of trauma for him to go back and forth when she's just going to treat him as a cute little photo prop.
