Get over your hill and see what you find there

[Treasur]

I think my L's bill (see vent fest) just flipped me to the F**k it phase. Is there one of those for an LBS? I'm not angry with my STBXH. I don't need to mind read. I'm not in pain. I don't want to save my M or get him back. I just want to stop the craziness. It feels like the Bay of Pigs here...

So I just sent the following email:

Dear H

I've just paid my latest legal bill. I’ve spent £3500 so far on a divorce I never wanted. Money I don’t have that I need to pay rent. I assume you’ve spent as much if not more. I’ve not had any response from you or your solicitor about the £ stuff and today is the 7 day deadline. I don’t know why.

Why are we doing this, H, really? We could have spent less on a round the world trip, talking things out over cocktails in a beach bar or climbing mountains or learning to surf or eating street food in Singapore. A few thousand more and the divorce will cost more than our wedding but with less kisses and cake.

Obviously you weren’t happy with something about how life was, as the link says. I wasn’t either, I just didn’t think it was your fault, so I didn’t think leaving you was the answer. Please can we cut through the crap with love and find a better way? We really loved each other and this mess is crazy. We’ve both made mistakes. There must be a better way than this. I don’t hate you and this all just doesn’t feel right to me. You? Can we just take a breath, start with a calm clean slate and figure it out together?

Shall we start placing bets on a) if he responds at all or b) how he might read this through MLC goggles and react? I'm open to 'doodler' like fun suggestions!