My last post I wrote about the jobs that had fallen through.
That day, the day I found out and wrote the post, I decided to work on not stressing out about it, feeling grounded, and then also feeling appreciative and very grateful of all the opportunities I've had over the past two years (but this past year especially).
I went to bed feeling on a very even keel and OK with things.
Next morning I woke up to a really great job offer by email. I kid you not.
It's a month contract, from one of the companies that I've already done a lot of work for (STBXH has worked for them too, on some stuff which was super successful. But that's by the way).
There are two quite big down sides to this offer of work, that I wanted to discuss with the very wonderful man I've been seeing. I had to wait until late afternoon, after he'd finished work and got back. I have to admit, I did feel very anxious about that. Mainly because I had no idea how he would react (and I guess I had no control over that, which is what was stressing me out).
When we started going out, I did make sure to explain to him that very occasionally something might come up with work, which would mean I might have to cancel plans (or better, postpone them).
Anyway, we had planned a week away together, and I had bought flights (ridiculously cheap ones) for it, and he had also bought two tickets for a gig.
He said that he would have been disappointed if I hadn't accepted the offer, seeing as I'm self employed and it's a fantastic opportunity. At that point, I did start crying a bit, as I felt overwhelmed that someone could be so loving and supportive.
I guess with STBXH, his career came first, and pretty early on in our R I learned to stand aside for him and minimise my own successes. Totally my fault for being so willingly subservient, I know. And it's probably one of the things that helped inflate his ego so much. Anyway, what's done is done.
As part of this job, we get to stay in some pretty nice hotels. So I'm going to ask if he can come and stay one weekend. And then I'm going to take him out for a fancy dinner after I've finished, as a thank you for having been so supportive. He's like me, he doesn't earn a lot of money, and I reckon a big chunk of it goes on helping his two kids. Any dinner out is quite a big treat (for both of us).
Going to carry on working on feeling appreciative for everything that comes my way, and feeling gratitude for the opportunities I have, as that seems to be the key to all of this (or at least, one of them).
I guess that's to do with reframing things and perspective. And it changes you from being a victim and acting like one, to feeling empowered.
