I can understand what you are saying but you talk as though you are still in R with you WW and currently you are not, sorry if that sounds a bit harsh. What you are about with the new R is exactly where you want to get to with your WW right? But that will only be if/when SHE is ready. The techniques are about how you get there. You admit there have been issues, you don't want old R back because that is what lead to where you are now. Ideal world we want new R with the person we are still married to and to me DBing is about that exactly. We all change in M especially when kids come along and some people see excitement and an escape route in another person for a time and sometimes it can be a long time but they ultimately never end up better off than they were, unless of course they escaping an abusive R and you certainly don't sound like an abusive man.
Not sure if you've read my most recent posts but my H went on a dream holiday last week and it was a disaster!! A little different for him as he went without the kids and we would have normally been on our annual family holiday, even so believe you me your W will be comparing. She will remember family holidays previously with you and your kids, it will not be all rosy in the garden with OM. He will not be comfortable around your kids and as a mother she will not be comfortable with him around your kids. One of my absolute best friends is male, I have known him longer than I've know my H, he is Godfather to both my kids and is more like an Uncle to them than a friend. Once he reprimanded my kids when H was on tour and in fairness it was to defend me but I couldn't handle it and had to tell him and that's my best friend not someone I am having an A with and already feel guilty about. I hope that made sense?
Going back to your questioning about the techniques I do believe they work if you and find what works for you and your sitch and are consistent. The fact that she mouthed sorry to you is something up until then all you had was an ice queen so what was different?
Keep your chin up. SJ x
Me 46 H 39 M 11 T 14 S 10 DO 8 ILYBNILWY 11.06.17 Separate rooms 11.06.17 ILW OW A ongoing 12.06.17 Kicked H out 23.6.17 H came home 20.8.17
