He can't start creating financial Armageddon. I am having exact same discussions with attorney. My H has pretty much done that already. Took him 6 months to produce a partial £ disclosure and it was shocking. If we go to court, he will basically be bankrupt and lose his job because he works for a bank and a whole bunch of dodgy stuff will become public knowledge...Because I've asked for pension/house equity, doesn't impact me if he loses his job actually as it will be a clean break agreement, but going to Court is ridiculous in our sitch. But then I've tried (and failed) to get him to respond to every other option over the last year - y'know, talking like adults, email, mediation, L's letters....He has consistently behaved like a f**kwit and really messed up his own life, but nothing I can do about that.
It is out of our hands if they go for the Absolute. I don't know about you, but that is the greatest cause of my anxiety. I flip flop all the time: want it over and want my old husband back. Not doing anything in my case seems to give him security in that. Feel like I spend way too much mental energy on him and this. Are they delaying to hedge their bets or are they being financially sneaky?
I did worry about this. I never wanted a D. I loved my H very much and felt compassion for just how broken he was. I wish my H still existed but right now he's a self-destructive unrecognisable mentally ill stranger. As time has passed, I guess I think that a) no point worrying because there is nothing I can do to stop it and b) maybe this last severing of the link between us is the price I have to pay for not being collateral damage to more of his WTF chaos. Sad though. I would have chosen a different calmer path even if we still ended up divorced.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
