I am not seeing things in black and white and in no point in my post did I call her weak, so please do not make assumptions about me.
I assume you are talking to me? Hi Blu, my name is Cadence.
I didn't accuse you of these things. The first was presented as my perception (which is fallible and limited to me), and the second is totally out of left field. By stating that I felt that Leah was strong, I was not implying that you said she was weak.
Originally Posted By: BluWave
I just don't see how it serves any of us to try and stick up for one another, and I think it actually creates a divide between posters.
I seem to have really offended you and I apologize for that. I meant no harm by offering what I saw about Leah's situation. I'm sorry if you saw it that way as it was not intended.
At the same time, I feel like I'm having to defend myself and I'm not sure why, which feels incredibly divisive and unwelcoming.
Originally Posted By: Leahsue
I also don't see Cadence as "defending me" so much as I see her coming from the position of having no children together, and virtually no reason to ever run across our S again. I think that is frightening to both she and I, in thinking about that possibility.
Yes, exactly. I read the post and thought "Well, how is she supposed to see the consistency from him without opening up to communication that will not happen otherwise?"
A few of us have been talking about vanishers and not sharing children and how it feels like more of a hurdle because there is absolutely no information coming in and you do not get to interact regularly.
Essentially, the risk feels like if you don't respond to what looks like tentative feelers, you may never know what the intention was. And that feels very frustrating, because there is no way to judge someone's intentions in the early stages. After so much pain, who wants to be open to something less than clear-cut? Of course it would be preferable to sit back and wait for consistency, but we also have to remember that everyone's circumstances are different. And I really don't see what you could have done differently if your goal is to potentially save your M.
This is all that I was trying to express.
Quote:
Although it's true we all bring that pain to this table from different walks of life and situations, the common denominator for us all is HURT. We all have so much to offer each other, and I believe, for the most part, it's a safe place to fall for each of us.
