Wife says that she had enough, files for divorce

[SwHubby]

Hi Mark,

Thanks for your input. I highly appreciate it!

I won't give up just yet, I still have some hope deep down that we will find our way back to each other someday. But I also realize that it will take at least a year of hard work. W still has the feeling that she's doing the right thing (about everything) and all my actions and words are seen in a negative light no matter what they are about. Yesterday she wanted to talk a little bit, among other things she accussed me of deliberately ruin the day she moved into her apartment. That day she received a letter from the court that I had contacted them to make sure that our preliminary agreement regarding D wasn't getting final. The thing was that I contacted the court a month before that date... I asked her if she had wanted me to throw away the letter instead and of course she didn't want that.

We are still discussing visitations regarding D. I want her to understand that I want to be highly involved in D:s life. I don't want to be an "every other weekend dad". But I also don't want to start a fight and going to court if it's something we could resolve on our own (which we should be able to). Met my stepdad today, we threw away the last stuff in our house before the sale is closed on Friday. We avoided talk about my R with W which felt good. We always have a really good connection and I enjoy spending time with him.

Moved to my own place this weekend. It is starting to feel like home now which is a nice feeling. :-) GAL activities are centered around my apartment and home improvement projects. But also some excercise. Also bought the headspace app today. Has been meditating on and off the past 2 years but I think that some time every morning and every night to clear out my head will help me think more clearly, think before caring and improve sleep.

I will start working after summer vacation on Monday which feels great. Will be good for me to meet a lot of ppl and try to do some GAL activities with them after work. My friends are joking with me, telling me to get Tinder. I just laughed at them. I have zero interest in dating. There's enough to deal with as it is. :-)

Also quit the SSRI's last Friday after medicating for 2,5 years. Feels great! Have been reducing the dose since March. Think that I am on the right track health-wise.

About that comment about dropping the rope - I think that I can do it and still hope for a future where we are together. However, what's important is that both of us will be happy. I cannot revy on W or expect her to change her mind. I just have to work on my own life, me and my D. And maybe, maybe, she feels joy being in my company again. I have been reading Benni8's thread alot lately. That is better than any inspirational speech for me. :-) His story is really inspiring and proves that personal development can change relationships, even though they are "broken". Even if it doesn't work out in the end, given the change he's been going through, he's a winner no matter what.