I will only stick to the D, selling the house. If he brings up our R, what do I do with that? Do I avoid the topic?
It's OK to talk about it if he brings it up. The rule of thumb is not to initiate any R talks, but if he brings it up then it's fair game. Regarding WHAT to say to him, I'm sure at this point he's completely focused on D, so just say something like "this is not what I want but I understand that you do, and I will respect that and support you in your decision." This is what we call "opening the cage door". WAS's often feel trapped, but if we can open that door and show them that we're not standing in their way then they feel there is no pressure anymore and no need to push the D through quickly (or in many cases, push it through at all).
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Since yesterday, my brother decided not to call him after I told him about the text.
Good. He's likely to see any talks from anyone as pressure.
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He has in his head we've tried in the past, but that I never made any changes. He made it seem as if we had gone to continuous therapy sessions & it just didn't work.
WAS's all rewrite history. It's part of this. Just tell your son you are there for him no matter what and will support him. Do not try to make your H out to be the bad guy. Your S will figure that out for himself (sounds like he already has).
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My son said he only spoke about the D and doesn't seem like he wants to try.
Yes, all part of the script. It'll be that way for a long time.
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I will hear his suggestions and say I'll have to think about that & will get back to you.
Good approach.
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One odd thing, I was concerned he wasn't going to pay the mortgage, but I looked online & he did.
Great! Hopefully he will continue to do so, but keep in mind he may be doing that to appease you to get you to agree to ridiculous D terms. Have your guard up.
