At the end I give her a sarcastic "Way to go" as a joke. She gets upset and tells me I always try and make her feel guilty when she screws up.
Take it from someone who is a reformed master-of-sarcasm, save the sarcasm for your buddies. It has no place in your romantic relationships.
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I tell her I was just joking.
A better response would have been "you are right, I was trying to be funny but that was insensitive. I'm sorry."
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She says it isn't funny.
And it wasn't to her, which should have been all you needed to know.
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I tell her I thought it was funny (there's a part of me that wants to tell her to take a hike).
Oh boy. What you need to understand is that REGARDLESS of your INTENTIONS, you offended her. She felt offended. You need to seek to understand and acknowledge her feelings. That's what the "validation" thing is we talk about so much here.
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About 5 minutes later I come back in and tell her: "I meant to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
