You're welcome, Leah. I see a big improvement in you and your resiliency, and things are different for those of us who don't share kids. In the same way MLC vanishers are frustrating, not sharing kids means there's no natural opportunities for interacting.
(I don't envy those who do share minor kids; just like I didn't envy you when H was in frequent contact. It must be challenging in a different way.)
Quote:
I DO want to see him, but it is short notice, and I want to be sure I'm mentally prepared to keep my boundaries firm.
Okay, so you do want to see him. It sounds like the lingering issue is when.
If you feel this is too short notice, you might tell him that. Or you might say that you only have 12pm-5pm on Saturday open because of the short notice, so maybe he wants to try another weekend. Just some suggestions. You'll have to find a balance between being receptive but also with boundaries.
Is there anything you'd need to hear from him before you made a decision about him coming down? I'm asking so we can advise you.
My other gut reactions to this are that he should not be let back easily, because that may lead him to continue to take you for granted after the honeymoon period ends. Second, that he should not be given the impression that you are available to him as soon as he wants you, given his choices since December. If he wants to see you, maybe be available for half of the time unless you reach a point where you both want to work to reconcile. Third, he shouldn't be trying to limit you dating (if you want to date).
(To be clear, I don't think you should say those things to him in the above paragraph. If you agree, you'll be showing him these things with your actions.)
