Nrthman.....I am relatively new at this but I have learned that you can't be so emotionally tied to every move she makes. It will drive you crazy and it is emotionally draining. You really have to let it go and realize you just have to pull back, stop pursuing and eliminate all talks about your R or D. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself!! Talking with people who will listen unconditionally is a life saver and I also suggest spending hours reading the old posts on this forum from Sandi, Stander, TXHubby, Accuracy to name a few. The advice they give is priceless and has been invaluable to me. I know this place has saved me even if I can't save my marriage.
Just hang in there, the hardest part is detaching but it gets easier and easier every day. I don't ask my W where she is going, where she has been, if she is going to church, if she is going to soccer practice, soccer games, etc. We only talk about our kids and finances. To be honest it is hard to talk about anything else at this time unless she wants to drop the Ice Princess act. She is also the one that initiates contact about 95% of the time.
