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Is there an actual "playbook" of how the WAS behaves? I'd love a link.


DR is as close as you'll get. They all follow a loose script but the details are different for each sitch.

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I find this a waste of time because I'm not going to negotiate with him the terms of our divorce. I'm going to seek legal cousel and then see what's recommended.


Great idea on consulting a L.

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He keeps pressing me to discuss as if all of this will be wrapped up in a couple of months (sell house, divide assets/debt). I've resolved to hear him out & will fight like hell to take the high road. Any advice on how to proceed with this meeting, especially if it starts to get contentious. Some 180s (just in case)?


180's don't really apply when it comes to negotiating the D. Look out for your best interests. Don't let him steamroll you. If he says a bunch of stuff you disagree with then don't argue, just tell him the terms are not acceptable to you and that you'll both have to get L's involved to work it out and the meeting is over.

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Things are obviously also really shaky financially & I just want to some stability again.


If you depend on him for assistance and he is not providing it, then talk to a L right away. You might have to file some kind of a support order, I honestly don't know how such things work but protecting yourself financially comes first.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57