Finding my way out of the dark - Part 3

[Holding]

Part 1 - The Weekend by Myself

This weekend W was out of town with the kids, so it was a time for me to just relax and do some GAL for myself.

Went out Friday night with a friend. We went to a bar and stayed until they closed, which is something I haven't done in YEARS. He offered to be my wingman and help me hook up with someone. I thanked him, but said that's not my style, I'm not a dirty cheater like W. I want to walk away from this filthy D with my head held high. And my kids don't deserve to have a cheater for a dad.

I did a charity event on Saturday at a kids museum. Then I went home and got myself a gourmet pizza and watched TV (also something I don't do much of). Oddly I didn't get emotional being by myself at the house, unlike last weekend.

On Sunday I had an upset stomach. It could have been the pizza I had the day before, or it could have been the thought that W would be home soon with the kids. You might remember my stomach was upset last week watching Game of Thrones with W. So after a while, my stomach started to feel a little better, and I made an executive decision to go skydiving.

Skydiving really helps clear my head and give me an emotional boost. This was my second tandem jump, so I got to do some spinning and acceleration tricks. I really have no fear of heights, so I'm considering continuing this as a long-term GAL thing, but I'm just not there yet. My next step is the solo training class, but I haven't signed up for it, and may hold off until after the D is final due to finances.

I had a thought that when I meet someone new, I could take them skydiving with me, where we both do a tandem jump. That thought gave me hope for a better future.

After I got home my stomach was upset again and I felt a little achy. I was thinking about going out with a friend, but just wasn't physically up to it, so I laid down in bed for a while.

When W got home with the kids, I was still in bed. W came in and asked if I was okay. She asked if I was feeling bad or if I just didn't want to be around her (passive aggressive again). She got me a thermometer so I could check my temp - HA! A literal temp check!!

She sat down in the chair in the MBR and wanted to talk. I decided to allow it, knowing that if things started to get out of hand, I'd ask her to leave, or at the worst just walk out myself.