Actually after reading one section of the book, I think I'm less downplaying his feelings and more just trying to get him to see my side (that I'm right).
Oh man can I ever relate. It's been a lifelong struggle for me to try not to do that. I still struggle with it with my GF, and it's really tough with her because she is the exact same way.
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I look back on certain things and think, why didn't you just let it go? Some things are just not worth the battle.
Again, this is me!! So hard to stop yourself while "in the moment" though.
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Posting my personal business is so outside of my comfort zone and commenting on other's busiess as well. I lurk and definitely read, so I guess that's half the battle.
Well that's the beauty of these forums, they are completely anonymous. We discourage using names here so that it can remain that way. It is a "safe place" for discussion of things you can't talk to friends and family about because it might get back to your spouse.
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I didn't ask my brother to respond, but he thanked him & asked if he wants to meet up and talk. My husband said yes. My son is having a hard time with this and my brother wants to talk to him about that.
Well, first of all don't expect it to go well because your H is likely to tell your brother about how done he is, how there's no hope, etc. etc. That's what WAS's do. It doesn't mean there's no hope though!
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I'm going to ask my brother not to specifically bring up our situation, what his plans are, etc.
Yes, good!
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As much as I try to fight it though, it's giving me a little sliver of hope. I am really trying not to read too much into the fact he responded when initially he ignored him.
Do have hope, but don't have hope over this. It's too soon. He's likely just going to use this as an opportunity to "prep" everyone that the M is over. But that doesn't mean it IS over. He's following the WAS script.
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Your insights have been invaluable. Honestly. When your spouse tells you how you are, it's easy to dismiss it as being one-sided. A stranger, based on words you yourself wrote?! That's a whole other level. I can deal with it, but now I just need to work on doing things differently.
You are an awesome woman, if you weren't you wouldn't have come here in the first place. So please, take this all as constructive criticism and not a statement about who you are as a person. It hurts to hear sometimes, but we take the comments and we make adjustments and we move forward as better people for it
