Treasure, you and i are about the same time out of our situations. And i love reading your posts, because your thoughts and reflections are very similar to my own.
I notice that people who have been in very bad car accidents, or that have been through difficult surgeries or even difficult births and deliveries have this need to tell their story over and over either in their minds or with other people. They organize and put into order what happened and then try to fill in the blanks or the missing pieces. They do this for a while and then eventually seem to heal usually with time and distraction. Therapists usually tell them to keep talking and figuring it out.
Our partners not only ended a relationship and left, but they also lied to, vilified and demonized us as well in order to do so. This is traumatic and for me the hardest part to get over. Because in their minds we were demons, it allowed them to do some pretty nasty stuff to us (in your case he stole from you, in my case he withheld child support) We were victimized by the people we loved and trusted, and its hard to make sense of this. Which is why you/i are trying to fill in all these missing pieces. We are sorting out and coming to terms with trauma, and i think its normal and a part of the process.
Eventually we will no longer care enough to need answers or explanations from the people that traumatized us because the pain from this trauma wont be so acute.
25 write a post to you about the importance of GAL and it was spot on. I think the people that can delve into a new world do better. Im at a point where i need to do this too.
