I am staying quiet out of necessity not desire. The Giggalo found my posts and it is my philosophy to be honest so I have left them.
My sitch has gone very litigious and when I am free to post about it then I will do so. My precious loving friends here are so important to me.
I had not seen the G until I saw him in court after 2 years 3 months in the D fins. D itself is a separate process from D fins here in the UK, I am D but no settlement has been made. The G is a compulsive gambler and cash hungry. I felt nothing on seeing the G at all in the D fin hearing, no love, no hate, no anger, no disgust it was like I had novocaine of the emotions, I felt nothing but detachment, very useful during a very long court hearing. Sadly we ran out of time and the D fins ended at the end of the allotted time known as part heard.
Basically the Giggalo has taken several legal actions against me for money including this one, for the 'needs' he has including house, income and he lives in Italy with the BIT in her house (1 of 4) yet he has a need for housing.
The latest phase is D fins and as the case went part heard in the UK courts then there is more to come. G is saying if this goes against him he will appeal. So I may have much more to come. His BIT (Bratislava Italian Tramp) has deep pockets, except of course it is in my interest their R succeeds better that than he is with a single mom on benefits with a drug and gambling habit then he really would have needs.
I may get a judge's decision based on written submissions, the judge offered that as a choice, although the judge could decide to bring us back to court. I have joined a domestic violence group and I discovered the G has stolen money from my bank accounts so my counsellor wants me to think about police action, I have parked that for the moment. When I can then I will post helpful D stuff on the abuse channel. There is much more to say.
Please bear with me as I protect my strategy and sitch. At least the G is in Italy with the BIT most of the time, so physically I feel safe. Clever nephew has stayed lots and I stay on the move. I have been threatened.
Whilst I was calm in court, afterwards the tsunami of feelings hit me like a wave and I have struggled to get on my feet. I have support from an amazing group off the board and of course in real life. It has been lovely to experience that. I lost quite a bit of weight before hand and this depression following has resulted in some over eating. I cry and I don't really know why, just from overwhelm.
That is an update, its a little me, me, me.....
In essence my posts won't sugar coat the effects abuse have on me nor how badly a high conflict D can affect, mine was a short M and I have no children with the G. This enhances my empathy for others going through this.
One piece of great news, I have been accepted to return to college to study law. I start in September and with my exemptions it will be two years part time. I will specialise in divorce support after I retire. Quite unsure how and my higher power is telling me this is the right thing to do.
On a lighter note, I joined Tinder and have had no matches at all...
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
