Leaving it up to God (but still interfering!)

[Treasur]

[quote=Coly23] it says a lot about him as a person at the moment but it still doesn't stop me from feeling like such a failure. I really do hope he is looking inside himself and reflecting on what he is losing.

AP, I do feel like I have 'lost the fight' and I'm trying so hard to take some positive learning out of it but its so hard.


I think some 'fights' are not possible to win. Or we find out that they are not OUR fight. Or that our fight is a different one.

Failure is a small word with big feelings, isn't it? There's a real difference between trying your best and not getting what you want, and failing I think. Did my H and my M and my life suddenly turn out not as I wanted or expected? Yes. Do I honestly believe there was anything I could have done which would have prevented that? No. I'm not God, or responsible for my H's mental illness or choices. Do I think I have fought hard to keep my own sanity and not lose sight of who I am and what matters to me regardless? Yes. And that's enough.

and your friend is right, OwnIt. I think MLC is a big teacher about what we can and can't control and influence, just like families with other mental illness or drugs or alcoholism. We have choices; they are just tough ones sometimes