Well, after a revelation today it has dawned on me that I am not early in this process. First EA/IA started in June 2013. Discovered in Aug. 2013. So in actuality, WW and or WAW has been going on for some time. Too much never got fixed.
Early on I made all the natural mistakes. Pursuing, begging, brooding. I know what doesn't work.
It wasn't all a mistake as I started GAL back then. I had to to stay happyish. It took up instrumentS, more golf and read a stack of books. I poured myself into my work, in a healthy way.
Update: We had another R talk. She kind of started and I took the ball. I said in a very matter of fact way:
She needs to learn to not blame me for all of the past She needs to regain respect We are not ready for MC until she has decided (she agreed) "I can't" is really "I won't" Although I don't want a D, I will not stand in her way. Regardless, we will be connected for a long time and if she wants to regain my trust she is going to have to do some work. It is not my fault that I am suspicious. I start IC Tuesday.
She listened and agreed to several items. Then I noticed during Sat. something was bothering her that seemed to be progressing. Finally, after much prodding, she offered up that I had ruined her whole day with this discussion. I stated that it needed to be said and how she felt was on her. She slept on the couch and I felt no remorse. (any emotion from her feels like progress).
She skipped church and me and D14 went. She watched on line and today's message couldn't have been more on mark. "Guardrails"
We can home and she was fine we all went to breakfast. (dang we eat out a lot).
I took off after breakfast and watched golf with friends until dinner.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
