Please do not think that you or your D are the reason your H did what he did, and is continuing to do to you. No one can make anyone do anything....ever. This was HIS choice and his alone.
Of course we all know that we could have been better spouses. And, if you think about it, there might have been times when you weren't happy either, but you did not make the choice to leave your M.
As I have learned through my own sitch....time has been my friend. Never, did I ever think, that I would be feeling the way I am about H or my M today. There were days that I thought I would die, or how was I going to make it through another day. BUT, I did....and so will you
Each day shows you that you are stronger then you realize. Yes, you are going to have days where you are sad....and that's okay. Just like you, there are days that I am sad, but when you (and I) look back on it, those days are becoming less and less.....thank goodness
For me it is hard to be consistent with GAL, detaching, NC and all of the things that DB teaches us. I have days when H makes me so upset, or he doesn't do what I was hoping he would do..(good 'ol expectations).. and I say "that's it, I can not do this anymore" and then I realize that some of the things I am basing that decision on, are things that I am making worse then they really are.
Having to learn about the A, be separated, try to work it out, have H walk away from me AGAIN, have NC, finally decide I have had enough and am ready to move on, only to have H decide he wants to come back and work on our M....has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. But, it has taught me that I am strong, and I will get through this........with or without H
Please be kind to yourself Coly.....
And as far as him saying the reason he thought D hadn't responded was because you guys were away.....is BS!!! He knows exactly why she isn't responding. But as we both know, he would have to look at himself and realize HE is the issue, and that would take too much work for him to do.
