You guys aren't going to believe this 5

[Sotto]

Hi Thornton, I've been off the forum for a little while, but I always check in on you!

I'm sorry you've been in a bit of a funk lately. This process is cyclical and there are easier phases when we really feel we are moving forward. Then tougher ones, then easier again. You'll get there and you'll appreciate the positive things in your life all the more for these more difficult phases.

Now then - this phrase - "I have no one but myself to rely on and the "what if" thoughts can be crippling."

I think trusting in yourself and having confidence in your own abilities and experience is a gift you should give to yourself. You are a unique individual with many talents and things will unfold as they will. And you will be just fine whatever the outcome. If you can know this and know it at a deep level, that is a great blessing.

I'm sure you will get there. For me, forward movement really helped. Any time I would feel stuck, I would ask myself, how can I move forward here? And I would take a tiny step towards that. It takes time, but we all get there and you will too.

I agree about the comments posters have made about your SD. Your R with her is different to that with her Mum. I have not seen or heard of XH in (I don't even know how long!) But I do keep in touch with SS. SS said to me recently - meh, anyone else my Dad meets is just my Dad's GF - not my second Mum! I was so touched by that and I think of it often.

Take care my friend and get out on that bike and in your canoe :-)