God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves

[Treasur]

Ah, juju, the lure of 'FB' like assumptions...the one thing we learn here is that real life is rarely as it looks from the outside-in. You have no idea of the reality of other people's Ms or lives or even if your H has a life that feels 'easy' to him. You can't know.

Some of your post is about 'easiness' of life. Some about regret or blaming yourself. Some about the feeling of unfairness, that being 'good' didn't give you the outcome you thought it would and that you think it won't in future either. Part of the process of acceptance seems to be about wrestling with some of this stuff too, doesn't it, even though we initially think it's about accepting the sitch? With our own beliefs and values. Forgiving ourselves just as we tussle with forgiving our spouses.

What would make life feel easier, juju? What would make you feel like you are living a juju life that others would wish they had too? How can you forgive yourself for the things you wish you had done differently? Being human and all that...part of the process, part of making peace with ourselves I guess.