Fight I can so attest to that about not trusting even if you heard it. Yesterday when I was done looking at houses I felt such a joyless emptiness. I said Own, what is going on with you. You are looking forward to moving and being done with him. Then I said Own, you just don't trust him. So I stupidly texted him saying I was concerned about moving forward and selling the house because I didn't entirely feel that I have his cooperation in helping me get into another. He said he has reached the conclusion that S wants to move to new/old town and that he would cooperate. I told him that I didn't feel he was being candid with me and was now being controlling around money and making unilateral decisions. His response to that, "nope." Awesome. I feel completely better and reassured now.
There is no feel good. There is no closure. There is only wondering, confusion and pain until we replace those feelings with something else. I think that is why the advice is always to GAL. Action feels better than sitting around waiting. Action is forward-looking. Confusion and pain leave us mired in the past.
Maybe 10 years from now he will come back and admit that he was wrong in what he did. But you can't wait for something that may never happen.
I know that when you move and put some distance between the two of you that things will be better. I know that when I move and put (more) distance between us things will be better.
There is an ending for us. I think it is just a whimper and not a bang. But, while we have no control over this chapter, we entirely own the ones which are not yet written. I would rather look forward to those with some degree of hope.
