I really believe that when we make the decision to let go and move forward that there is a tidal wave of emotions. It is the death of the life we envisioned, the death of the hope that the situation would turn around, the grief we feel over having failed, the scarlet D, and the fear of walking forward alone.
I think all of these things are coming to the fore so that you can process them one by one and move forward without carrying this baggage with you any longer. I feel that I am doing the same thing now. My emotions have been much more rollercoaster and I think I have been contacting him more than necessary knowing that the contact will shortly be at an end.
I hope this part will be over soon. The pain is pretty visceral.
