Leaving it up to God (but still interfering!)

[Coly23]

Thanks Ownit and Job. Yes you are both right this us up to D and H to sort out.

Feeling a bit blegh at the moment. I don't know if it is because it's coming up to our anniversary or because I am slowly letting go of my marriage. I can't ever see H wanting to reconcile. I think he has moved way down the road to want to look back but I know I need to be doing that as well.

D and I had a really good talk last night because she asked me why I was so down lately. I just feel so responsible for putting her in this position. Right on top of her exams and now she is worried she may not have passed enough to do the courses she has chosen for college. Also the break up with get boyfriend was down to her feeling upset about the whole situation. This whole thing just $^cks.

I think the main feeling I am getting at the moment is feelings of hurt. I just feel so hurt that he has done this to me and D and I don't know how to get past it. I just think I must have been such an awful wife that he really didn't care about hurting us to get what he wanted which was out of this marriage. I can't think of any other reason why he would go to such an extreme.

However at the moment I am starting to feel a little more in control of this sitch because I have chosen not to have any contact with him but although he is practically pursuing D he is making no moves to contact me. I know NC is for me but I just thought that maybe he would have reached out by now even to ask some stupid question so I feel he is happy with this situation. I feel I have come this far so to contact him would undo all my good work, I know that but it's still $^cks!!

Happy weekend everyone!