Some leave and are hostile...others leave and are quite nice. Don't confuse his wanting the two of you to be nice with wanting to reconcile.

Sounds like there's a lot more to the story than can be understood from one post. If MLC, then he may be questioning everything and not much may do with you.

Is he questioning his professional/financial success or lack thereof, his physical appearance/health/aging, his sexuality, his religion/beliefs, his friends/social standing, unfulfilled dreams/having settled for something more mundane than he imagined?

Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving