Hi, I am sorry you are here. This is really hard stuff, but you will l get through it. I think Cadet's HW applies, even if you can't do it 100% or some time has passed. Many of us here did all the "wrong" things at first, but it is never too late to change! Please read all of it--there is so much great stuff in there. Mostly this is a time for self reflection and healing.
I don't think any of us can advise you on if you should go over seas, as that is a very personal decision. What would be best for the kids? Thank you for your service BTW.
What struck me most about your sitch is that she divided the kids. Was there a reason for this? Did you agree to this arrangement? I just CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE taking only one of my kids and leaving the other. I also would devastated and furious at my H if he did that. My kids love each other and we are raising them together. If you did not agree to this arrangement then there very well could be some legal ramifications to her taking your D across the country too.
Please keep posting here and reading other threads. Your sitch may have differences, but there are often similarities as well. WAW and WW often follow a script in their behaviors. You mention that things don't quite add up and she is unrceptive to talking about the M? Unfortunately, a lot of us eventually learn that there is some type of affair going on. So please be careful and smart about your plan of action.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
