Jim, a lot of your W's traits remind me of mine. My W has some severe self-image issues as well. My W is attractive, but during our M put on a lot of weight that she's only recently shed. At BD she blamed me for being neglectful, distant, not supporting her in her weight loss efforts, not telling her she was beautiful, etc. Immediately after BD I would always tell her how beautiful she was, and she told me she didn't feel beautiful, that I'd somehow broken her self image with my neglect. So I get where you're coming from about not wanting to repeat the same old, same old.
But you know what, I think my W wants SO BADLY to have someone tell her she's beautiful. Even though she doesn't fully believe it, she wants to have that hole in her filled with the compliments and attention. I wonder if your W is the same way.
I've noticed a pattern with your W putting on a show as a passive-aggressive way of communicating with you. Like the way she set up the scene with crying herself asleep with the rosary. And now the show of getting all prettied up to meet you at your hangout. I hate to say it, but it really looks like she's trying to manipulate you. Is this a pattern for your MR? Did she always use actions and displays to get you to react, instead of telling you what was going on inside her?
It does seem like your W is almost trying to set up a competition between you and the OM, to see who will give her more attention and stroke her ego more.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
