WW in A. NC promise broke. Separation? (5th thread

[hoosjim]

You aren't accomplishing anything by hanging out this way. Unless she has committed to what you asked and need of her.

And I agree. Just not sure how to deal with it without coming off like a jerk. She has, to all appearances, done what she's said she was going to do, now, WRT no contact with OM and some transparency, but... no indication she wants to or is even ready to move into "working on things." She's not doing anything disrespectful to me or anything. Prolly best I can do is say "look, this is nice, us hanging out and all, but I'm not really sure where this is going and I still don't know that I can trust your motives or your commitment, here. I think it's best for now if we spend our time apart for now." (?) I mean, I agree with pretty much everyone here that she is not "ready" for MR work or "piecing" or whatever you want to call it-- she clearly is still messed up a bit in her own head, prolly still grieving OM/A (it's only been three weeks), and doesn't even know what she wants or what she thinks she wants. Even our MC, who has also counseled us individually, told me at our last IC session a couple of weeks back (the last for either of us) that even if W was at "NC" that she still did not, at that point, seem quite ready to "give up the relationship with the OM"--meaning get it out of her head and get over it completely and that she (W) would prolly need some IC before MC could be fruitful. Not a recipe for success.

I also have to think the timing of OM contacting me and "trying to make nice" is kind of suspicious with W putting on the full court press to look like she's doing the right thing.