Navel gazing is frustrating, but entirely necessary after the few years you've had.
Remember that like attracts like, and given your plans to start seeing who else is out there, you want to be at your best regarding emotional health.
Obviously, it's impossible to get to perfection, but if you've handled your current grief and pain from your past and have a healthy outlook, then you're more liable to meet someone healthy.
If you've got insecurities, you'll attract/be attracted to someone with the same amount of issues, but they'll be manifesting in other areas.
Think of your navel gazing as an investment in your future happiness!
I'm telling you this because I want to see you find someone emotionally healthy. I want the same for me, and I'm working on the same things.
