Still here. Still not detached...

[Chris73]

I think I get your point LH. The anger is definitely rooted in fear. Fear that I will backpedal and agree to all of her terms, but also fear that if I stand my ground she'll push back even harder and things will get ugly and expensive.

But the anger is also a bunch of irrational "poor me" emotions. I know they're not helpful, but I have trouble controlling them. And they certainly get in the way of rational and civil discussions.

I think moving forward I need to prepare and plan my side of these negotiation conversations ahead of time. Have things written down, stick to the script, and err on the side of saying less instead of more. It's clear that I cannot rely on 100% improvised dialog when my emotions are running so high.