Leah, part 4

[Citygrl]

Hi Leah. Saw your post and wanted to chime in. When my husband first left I did get names and called a few lawyers. It actually made me feel a lot more secure in the process. The best part is that I was able to choose the lawyer I really liked should my husband pull the trigger or something transpired (was thinking OW pregnancy, which hasn't happened) where I needed to file, etc. Turns out, when 4 years later I received surprise divorce papers I had my lawyer lined-up. In the end I decided not to go with him as he had been promoted and handled very high level cases but he referred me to another firm with whom I am very happy. He was also a fallback if I decided to change attorneys. He is brilliant.
That said, it really helped having someone lined up. I also saw some attorneys who I thought my husband may use. Glad I did that as well as from that process I learned there are some weak ones and I felt even better about my choice. As it turns out my husbands attorney has a reputation for going to court (#££££) and that is the direction he has been leading my head in the sand husband. Knowledge is power, I hope.
Do what you feel is right. In my case things go up and down and I took a backseat to give myself a breather when I realised how financially my life was going to quickly change along with a huge move and new career. I needed time to start processing that.
You will know what is right for you. Trust yourself and know the risks so if you do make a mistake along the way you know that was a risk. If you are persuaded to do something and it doesn't work you will always have that doubt.