Any hope?

[Treasur]

I'm sorry, my friend but right now you can't. You can't make her do anything. You are unlikely to get past the force field with either logic or love.

Which means - although it [censored] - that right now until/unless something changes, you are being dragged towards a D you don't want. Nothing you can do about that. The bit you CAN influence is how you handle that and the kind of process towards D that will work best for you and your kids if you have them. It's ok to say, as many of us have had to do, no I don't agree that D is the best option, it isn't what I want and I will not drive it, but I can't stop you doing whatever you think is best for you and I will respond accordingly. If you decide to look at other options, I will hear you out but until then this will unfold as you make it. Pick up your monkeys in this rotten situation, but please don't let her persuade you to pick up or fix hers or protect her from the practical consequences of her own actions.

If you have not seen a L, please do so quickly. Arm yourself with some information that will help you figure out the best course of action. Dig out the paperwork you need on money etc. Hope that your W doesn't do some terrible things, but protect yourself in case she does. Think hard about the pros/cons of mediation - it can be emotionally painful and doesn't work so well if the other party is not capable of acting honestly and responsibly about factual stuff and money. There are other choices, even though to be honest no one really wins in a D, and the process is grim. Kind of like chemotherapy - you wish you didn't need it, but wishes don't change what is current reality if that makes sense.