Thanks Thornton - I'm not filing in hopes that he will wake up so it doesn't get my hoes up at all. I hope you're doing well. Thanks for stopping by.
Blu- I understand what you're saying. What you and Ginger say is what everyone in my life says. Nobody wants me to take him back. A lot of people have voiced that they are afraid once I file and we get going through the D process that he will try to come back and they are afraid I will let him back. I would like to think I wouldn't at this point. But I cannot say that with 1000 percent certainty.
Hi ginger -I've answered that question so many times lately in real life. No I do not want him how he is or who he is now. His behavior and treatment is unacceptable. My dad said he treats me as if I've wronged him. He said H acts like I've cheated on him and left him. In his mind I have wronged him. I accused him of cheating and didn't trust him and he had no choice but to leave the marriage. He is not sorry. I don't know if he ever will be. Everyone says he doesn't respect me and doesn't give two shits about me. I think that's all quite obvious to even a blind person.
My dad said he will do this for the rest of his life. He, like me , had really thought H changed because for the last 3 years he was a better man. But my dad says he was good until things got a little difficult. Me being pregnant school working etc and him not getting his butt kissed everyday. Then someone else paid him attention and the rest is history. I don't want to have to worry everyday for the rest of my life if I paid him enough attention or if someone is going to catch his eye. But is he like that because he's a serial cheater or is he like that because I wasn't enough for him? I know you all think I'm dumb but I'm really trying to look at myself. Was I just not good enough?
Sandi - that approach will be what I adapt after he's served. Right now I'm so close I don't want him getting wind of anything or having any reason to get suspicious and start hiding assets or money. I'm so close and I've kept so quiet nice and innocent toward him this whole time. I can't lose site of that.
