well, I can pass on some advice from my therapist to you for free.
At this point in my life it is not about finding ANY partner. It's about finding the RIGHT partner. I guess what I have on my side is my biological clock is not ticking. But I don't want to try to make someone who isn't the right fit, the right fit. Because you can't make that happen. I would rather have no one than the wrong lifelong partner. Unfortunatley I've got to kiss few frogs first. I went on a few dates with this guy I met online back in November. He was OK. Good looking, single dad. But he was kind of perverted and had a different idea of dating than I did. He was a plan maker which was good, but didn't know the first thing about romance. He kept trying, I kept trying, but it wasn't what I wanted. I told him as much. I could have "had: him. I didn't want him. I was not that into him! He was not a good fit for me.
I was telling my IC last night how frustrating and lonely things could be for me. She told me I simply haven't found the right one yet. ANd I haven't. Every guy I have dated so far hasn't been the right one for one reason or another. But I'll know when he is right. I used to try to make people the "right one" for the sake of not being alone. It really blew up in my face.
So instead of focusing on getting married again, why don't you focus on the in between. Building your own life like you did with your weekend getaway. Date and look for what you want in a man, not just the end result, being marriage.
Maybe he made plans in the future because he thought maybe it would work and you were the right fit for him. But maybe he decided you weren't, Not because there is something wring with you, but simply because you don't have the same priorities and values in an R. People also say things and they are just words. Yeah, I've thought out loud about things that would be fun with a guy I dated in the future, but I never knew how far we would make it. This summer my exFF and I were going to bring my D9 to his parents condo in Hilton Head and ride bikes. That's why he taught her how to finally ride a bike. I believe he wanted to that if we stayed together. But sometimes the future takes a different turn.
I used to think if I was that great, a man would change everything he wanted for me. It doesn't work that way. He could have been interested, but his priorties aren't where you need them to be. And that's ok. Don't change what you want to fit into what works for him.
