Learning, Growing, Healing

[Brubeck]

I keep meaning to add in this conversation here, then someone else posts something that just makes me nod along, saying - "Yep yep".

We have lived this nightmare for years .. not just days/weeks... years. Hearing and seeing the MLCr put on that front they are happy and better off without us leaves a mark regardless if they truly are happy or not it makes us question ourselves and our marriage down to the core level as MLC has a wonderful way of flipping ones life/marriage/family on its ear leaving all those effected grasping for answers.

I think that's just being human really. It comforts me that no matter how big a mess I'm dealing with now, the facts suggest that he is starting his new life medicated, impotent, overweight and almost bankrupt with nothing more than his job and OWs house to live in for free. Mean right?

Yikes, it's creepy when someone else reads my mind this well.

I have the same angry, hateful thoughts towards my W that many others have expressed here. Awful wishes. Thoughts that aren't good for one's spirit. I don't want to hurt her myself, I just want her backwards thinking to trip her up - massively. I see fleeting moments of her depression and a good share of wacky behavior to let me know she's not all there, but there are still days when I want her to trainwreck nonetheless. I don't want this to work out for her.

These MLC stories provide the strangest combination of assurance and sadness. You learn what your spouse is doing is mostly "script", and it helps to not take it so personally, but the stories also suggest how this story is probably going to end.

Then you read the LBS stories, and again, we're all reacting in similar ways. It seems unbearable at times, and I think I'm just not made to deal with this huge MESS she's made. I remind myself I'm still probably better off compared to them...as they are trying to create happiness out of lies.