How should I handle the Mrs wanting to hang out as friends? She asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with her tonight. I'm not delusional enough to think this is some kind of date night. Given that she told the counselor that I'm her best friend, I'm assuming she wants a buddy to see the movie with. Part of me thinks that I should tell her thanks but no thanks and GAL but part of me thinks she should spend some time having fun with me. Keep in mind we still live together and she's only mentioned leaving, not actually taken any steps.
What do you want? Are you okay with a "best friends" relationship with her? If you are, then act on that basis.
If you're not, then decide what you do want, and pursue that. This isn't about making her happy, it's about getting the relationship that you want.
Something that may be counter-intuitive is that your wife wants you to push back more. She wants you to argue and say "no" when you don't agree.
If she sees you stand up for yourself when she pushes you, then she knows you'll stand up for her if you need to. If she pushes you and you just do whatever you want to make her happy, then she doesn't feel secure that you've got her back.
Going to the movie is a nuanced question. If you're going to see "Sophie's Tears" or something that holds absolutely no interest for you, then the answer is "no". If it's something you both want to see, and you can hold yourself with confidence and give off the air that you're there because you want to be, not because you need to be, then yes, you should go.
If your wife has a tantrum, its your responsibility to call her on that -- tell her you won't be spoken to that way. You understand she's upset, but that is not on you.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
