"You mentioned she's bipolar, is she BPD (borderline personality disorder) as well?"
She has traces of borderline, but not diagnosed.
Your W is saying that she's not totally checked out, but she's not saying she wants the M yet. This is extremely helpful
That's a good focus for a 180. Seek out IC if you need help on recognizing your triggers and finding ways to refocus your negative energy so you're not taking it out on her. She may see you going to IC as a huge positive step. I think my anger has been mostly a reaction to her, I have not been angry at all lately. She has quite the temper, but I do not respond to it anymore.
Why do you resent that, is it because of the EA stuff? I have been very supportive the past two years in her GAL with theater. If anything, I gave her too much space. I didn't realize emotional cheating would result. My suspicions led to fights.
Ask your W is she sees any value in the MC. Usually when a WAS is 99% done then you shouldn't even go to MC because it makes things worse instead of better. Well, one of her gripes about me is she told me that we needed counseling 3 years ago and I didn't go. Classic early signs of WAW that I missed. I sent her the therapist schedule and she cannot fit it in because of her new work schedule. I may just leave it be.
