Get over your hill and see what you find there

[Treasur]

Ok, just approved financial proposal letter to be sent. If he says yes (to my pretty unreasonable demands, hey ho) in order to avoid being exposed in Court, my guess is he will apply for absolute asap. So I shall be divorced in time for our 14th wedding anniversary next month. Which doesn't make me do a happy dance, but I'll be ok.

Time to look at what's good.
- having a runaway MLC protected me from some of the crazy stuff while I was also dealing with my mother's dementia
- the D is the price I pay to be financially separated from someone who is spending themselves close to bankruptcy
- it forces me to draw a line in the sand and once the house is sold, there will be no need for any further contact which will help me focus on what next
- I can date and have sex again if I want to
- I like my little rented house by the sea and he has never set foot in it
- an ex-H doesn't need my love, concern, mind reading or eggshell texts replies which leaves more mental space for better things
- I don't need to deal with legal paperwork or lawyers for much longer
- I'll get a replacement for my watch finally like a faux anniversary present, and I can still look at it to remind me that I am a treasure just like my H said when he bought it
- I have blocked all social media links because I don't need to know what he or OW are doing and when the practical stuff is dealt with I can block his email/phone etc too so he can't contact me again. He cut contact with all his/our old friends anyway and his family sent me to Coventry too so there will be no leftover links between us
- my pension will quadruple in value
- the new work opportunities just starting now will give me financial security that he can't trash
- I don't have to sit and listen and get hurt by 'talking' to someone who can't treat me or our M with respect and decency...and I've got to the point where the importance of what outweighs the need to know why
- I can start planning the next 6 months without waiting for further shocks or surprises
- I can stop hoping for a miracle H recovery and start hoping and building a new happy for myself and people who care about me
- I can have more conversations with old friends that do not include his name and people won't expect me to know how he is
- it removes a lot of chaos, uncertainty and helplessness about things being 'done' to me
- I can do what I want and feel how I feel without having to consider the repercussions of it
- I don't need to read any more books about broken men, depression, MLC or repairing marriages
- I know I am a good person and was a pretty good wife who tried my best for someone I love, and who didn't have an A, run away in tough times or file for D. And I'm battered but absolutely not broken
- I never need to have a conversation again about his dysfunctional parents or his way of dealing with them
- I never need to iron a man's shirt again or spend time faking interest in one new boring grey car vs another