My husband filed for divorce

[Rose888]

I agree with everything AS wrote except for the part about not being able to work on the sex life bit right now.

I think now is a great time for you to dig into why you are standoffish. I found Michelle's book on sex-starved marriages to be enormously helpful, and I read several other good ones as well. You might not be able to put what you learn into practice while separated, but you can change the mental piece.

I also encourage you to get an individual counselor to work on your control and communication issues.

One of the principles of DBing is that you can only change yourself, and that you changing makes it easier for your partner to change.