If you're really angry with your wife, then one thing you can do is get a permanent marker and draw a mustache on her face while she's sleeping. I've never done it myself, but I did fantasize about doing it. I think it could even be DB, maybe; I don't really know. Regardless, if you decide to do that, let us know how it turns out. If it goes well, then maybe you could inspire others to do the same.
