I love my sister. I want her to at least know my children. I don't have any poison in my heart for my sister. But I look at her as a cancer I can't accept in my life without radiation proof gloves.
Wow, Zues, that's a tough story, thanks for sharing it. Definitely harder to deal with than my sitch... your own sister!
This is one of the dynamics that keeps making it so hard on me to "move forward" to a happy place for myself-- all of the pain caused to so many by these infidelities across two marriages, my own and my good friend's. And then I come here and see how so, so many others are going through the same thing. What possesses people to do these things? The widespread pain, disruption, and turmoil even one affair causes is heartbreaking enough... and yet it goes on all of the time. I myself am becoming more comfortable in my own skin, in my own place, and with my own place in the world-- I have great kids (troubles and all), alot of fun and stimulating interests, and family and friends who i love and who love me in return. (My fishing/canoeing/camping trip with S18 this weekend reinforced a lot of that and really helped me.) And yet... I can't seem to escape all of the pain that is being caused around me. My W's bff, before all of this happened, was someone I would have considered a close friend (though she was a bit on the wild/free-spirited side)-- she was, after all, the wife of my own best friend from college. Her infidelity, with another of our close friends, has shattered not just her family, but the family of that other friend, and has destroyed at least three or four other friendships based on the fairly complicated and ugly dynamics. And not casual friends, either, but long-time close friends. On top of my own marital difficulties, infidelity, and the pain and chaos that has caused, it is a lot for a kind-hearted person (which I do consider myself) to bear, regardless of one's own groundedness. And my W, whose compassion and empathy were two of the big reasons I fell in love with her and wanted to spend my life with her says "But she's [her bff] just so HAPPY"... and I just almost cant believe it. It's heartbreaking to see all of this going down and even moreso to see the woman I love(d?), regardless of our future prospects, so sanguine about it.
I pray for all of us, but don't know to what end. Maybe we're supposed to be witnesses to the destruction of EMAs so we can help others in the future. Idunno.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
