Thank you all for the kind messages, I found it really helpful. I have been massively struggling with the fact he has all the power now and its all on his terms, as I am so used to being the one in control.
I do think I need to take a massive step back and just leave him to get on with whatever he is doing. And I think the pregnancy is a blessing in disguise as I can focus on that and put him out of my head.
I have been doing everything I can to keep active and see my friends and family and occupy myself, but it is still hard some days.
I would love to do the coaching, but really can't afford it at the moment, but I should be letting out one of the rooms in my house soon and hopefully should be able to sort something out then.
