Remember why you are doing this, this thing you don't want to do. You are doing it to protect yourself and your children financially and emotionally. That's the bottom line.
You need to do it in as detached a way as possible, so the work serving with no heads up makes sense. You don't know how he will react and I wouldn't try to mind read. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. All the wise things you have already planned like having your Dad there and the kids somewhere else. Maybe legally best if you don't change the locks yet but maybe have a bolt on the door so if he comes by, he can't just walk in?
If he does turn up...and he might not immediately, who knows...he is likely to ask you questions about two things - his possessions/money and the kids. (Sadly probably in that order if he is in MLC!) Do you know what you require him to do and by when? Have you protected some of the finances in case he does a retaliatory raid? Do you have a proposed schedule and plan for how he can see the kids while the D is progressing that will keep you and them safe?
And then OwnIt is right...once you get past this, take a deep breath and survey the landscape.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
